Email to my parenting group
Subject: My mini sleeping miracle
Just wanted to share this, unprompted, because it's so great and maybe will help someone else...
We have an 18-month-old, our second, who is a lousy sleeper. Our first daughter has been a great sleeper since we figured out the "magic pill", which for her was that she needs to be alone in a room to sleep. We got that one figured out at 9 months, and when our second was born we were feeling pretty cocky, but she has never slept well. She always requires at least 5-10 minutes to fall asleep both naptime and night-time. Sometimes 15-20 minutes, though I don't let her go longer than that. No amount of singing, rocking, pacing or nursing will reliably get her to bed without requiring some crying. No shifted bedtime, socks, white noise, perfectly consistent routine, temperature adjustment, lovey, etc. helped. Even our pediatrician said, "Sounds like you're doing everything right." This is not something I normally hear from pediatricians.
If this sounds like you, read on.
Of course I've read that some kids just need some crying, and I've read not to let your kid ever cry in their crib, but it's not a perfect world, every baby is different, etc. etc. All things being equal, I'd prefer that she happily drift off instead of cry, right? I kept expecting another magic pill, but never found one, until...
We went on a 2-week long working vacation last month which involved 3 different cribs for her, and needless to say the 1st night was horrible. I won't go into detail, but it did spark a certain level of desperation. So the second night I got a big pile of stuffed animals (we were houseswapping, so plenty of those), and let her choose which went in her crib. She considered each carefully and chose about half of them. Then her blanket and she went in the crib. Out like a light. Not a peep.
The second night, I tried the same thing, "Does this go in the crib?" She chose her animals (different this time), then "Does the blanket go in the crib?" and "Does the baby go in the crib?" Now mind you she has no problem saying 'no', but to these last 2 she consistently said yes throughout our stay. Sometimes even tried to crawl in herself after the blanket went in. Worked just as well at naptime.
Second house, different stuff, same routine, worked like a charm.
Third hotel room, no stuffed animals except what we'd brought, but I included a sweater, clean socks, and other soft stuff in the pile she got to choose from. Once again, like a charm.
Now I thought this was all about being in a strange environment and choosing the things she'd wake up to in the middle of the night. If she thought about each thing they wouldn't be foreign when she stirred at 1am. But...
Now we are home, and I do the same thing. Take everything out that's normally in her crib, stuffed animals that have always been there, and we sort through the pile. Here usually everything is acceptable and goes in the crib. And this strategy continues to work. She has without exception gone down to sleep without a peep every time. Obviously those things were already familiar, so maybe it's just having control? It could be prepping her to go down, but we do have a long bedtime routine with dinner, dishes, bath, books, nursing, so you wouldn't think she'd need more, but whatever it is, it even seems to be improving night-time wakings (she still wakes up 2-3 times a night, but last night slept from 11-6, only the 3rd time in her life she's done that).
If anyone else has similar sleep issues, I'd be very interested to hear if this works for them. Or theories about why it works would be interesting too.
Off to bed... perchance to sleep!
Audrey
Just wanted to share this, unprompted, because it's so great and maybe will help someone else...
We have an 18-month-old, our second, who is a lousy sleeper. Our first daughter has been a great sleeper since we figured out the "magic pill", which for her was that she needs to be alone in a room to sleep. We got that one figured out at 9 months, and when our second was born we were feeling pretty cocky, but she has never slept well. She always requires at least 5-10 minutes to fall asleep both naptime and night-time. Sometimes 15-20 minutes, though I don't let her go longer than that. No amount of singing, rocking, pacing or nursing will reliably get her to bed without requiring some crying. No shifted bedtime, socks, white noise, perfectly consistent routine, temperature adjustment, lovey, etc. helped. Even our pediatrician said, "Sounds like you're doing everything right." This is not something I normally hear from pediatricians.
If this sounds like you, read on.
Of course I've read that some kids just need some crying, and I've read not to let your kid ever cry in their crib, but it's not a perfect world, every baby is different, etc. etc. All things being equal, I'd prefer that she happily drift off instead of cry, right? I kept expecting another magic pill, but never found one, until...
We went on a 2-week long working vacation last month which involved 3 different cribs for her, and needless to say the 1st night was horrible. I won't go into detail, but it did spark a certain level of desperation. So the second night I got a big pile of stuffed animals (we were houseswapping, so plenty of those), and let her choose which went in her crib. She considered each carefully and chose about half of them. Then her blanket and she went in the crib. Out like a light. Not a peep.
The second night, I tried the same thing, "Does this go in the crib?" She chose her animals (different this time), then "Does the blanket go in the crib?" and "Does the baby go in the crib?" Now mind you she has no problem saying 'no', but to these last 2 she consistently said yes throughout our stay. Sometimes even tried to crawl in herself after the blanket went in. Worked just as well at naptime.
Second house, different stuff, same routine, worked like a charm.
Third hotel room, no stuffed animals except what we'd brought, but I included a sweater, clean socks, and other soft stuff in the pile she got to choose from. Once again, like a charm.
Now I thought this was all about being in a strange environment and choosing the things she'd wake up to in the middle of the night. If she thought about each thing they wouldn't be foreign when she stirred at 1am. But...
Now we are home, and I do the same thing. Take everything out that's normally in her crib, stuffed animals that have always been there, and we sort through the pile. Here usually everything is acceptable and goes in the crib. And this strategy continues to work. She has without exception gone down to sleep without a peep every time. Obviously those things were already familiar, so maybe it's just having control? It could be prepping her to go down, but we do have a long bedtime routine with dinner, dishes, bath, books, nursing, so you wouldn't think she'd need more, but whatever it is, it even seems to be improving night-time wakings (she still wakes up 2-3 times a night, but last night slept from 11-6, only the 3rd time in her life she's done that).
If anyone else has similar sleep issues, I'd be very interested to hear if this works for them. Or theories about why it works would be interesting too.
Off to bed... perchance to sleep!
Audrey
