Dare I Say It?
At a birthday party last week, I was talking to another mom who just had her 2nd baby. Her oldest is 4, so they're spaced much further apart than our kids. The conversation seemed to confirm what I've believe for a while, that at least early, the farther apart your kids are, the harder it is to have more of them. This is because if you've had a 2- or 3-year-old, you've had it easy. I don't care what they say about "terrible 2's", we've never experienced them. At two years old, our kids are/were more independent, adorably cute, and (finally) sleeping through the night. This mom was exhausted, because she's had the good life. She's had a cute, independent kid who sleeps and is out of diapers, and now she's remembering what it was like!
We, on the other hand, never had the good life. Two months before Clementine turned 2, we had Calliope. We've never been out of diapers, we haven't really slept, and we haven't experienced a family where children didn't require help with nearly everything they every tried to do. Now, however... I hesitate to type this. I really do.
But for the last 3 months or so, life has seemed to relax. Everything is easing up. Only 1 of the last 4 road trips involved a crying fit. The girls are definitely fighting, but they're not too uptight. Clementine hasn't freaked out more than 2 or 3 times a week (vs. per day). She doesn't freak out when I pick her up from school, she doesn't freak out over her clothes not feeling right, or her car seat being too tight, or not being able to read another book or watch TV. And as I mentioned, Calliope is finally, finally sleeping through the night. (Unbelievably another dad I know is wondering when his 5 month old will finally start sleeping through the night. Wimp.) For the first time in nearly 4 years, we feel like the struggles of parenthood have eased up to the point where we can take a breath. And of course the pleasures of parenthood are pretty high at this point in the girls lives.
I imagine one of my girls reading this upon the birth of their second child and thinking, "Holy moly, I have two years to go before all of this eases up!" But from this side, it looks pretty good. Now hopefully I haven't jinxed things!
We, on the other hand, never had the good life. Two months before Clementine turned 2, we had Calliope. We've never been out of diapers, we haven't really slept, and we haven't experienced a family where children didn't require help with nearly everything they every tried to do. Now, however... I hesitate to type this. I really do.
But for the last 3 months or so, life has seemed to relax. Everything is easing up. Only 1 of the last 4 road trips involved a crying fit. The girls are definitely fighting, but they're not too uptight. Clementine hasn't freaked out more than 2 or 3 times a week (vs. per day). She doesn't freak out when I pick her up from school, she doesn't freak out over her clothes not feeling right, or her car seat being too tight, or not being able to read another book or watch TV. And as I mentioned, Calliope is finally, finally sleeping through the night. (Unbelievably another dad I know is wondering when his 5 month old will finally start sleeping through the night. Wimp.) For the first time in nearly 4 years, we feel like the struggles of parenthood have eased up to the point where we can take a breath. And of course the pleasures of parenthood are pretty high at this point in the girls lives.
I imagine one of my girls reading this upon the birth of their second child and thinking, "Holy moly, I have two years to go before all of this eases up!" But from this side, it looks pretty good. Now hopefully I haven't jinxed things!
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